"The Twelve Heads of St. John the Baptist" by "Jake Wildstrom"

The story headline is "a.k.a. Christian Text Adventure #2".

The story genre is "SpeedIF".

The story description is "You sought for an ancient, valuable relic. You found it twelve times over. Now the adventure begins."

When play begins:
  say "It is a little known fact that SpeedIF is fueled by valuable religious artifacts. Only with the concentrated spiritual power of an object of devotion can true creativity be unleashed. Preparing for the new SpeedIF, you had engineered a conduit between the head of St. John the Baptist and the Primary Source to drive the event, but at some point the head was stolen by some filthy Quebecois heretics! Fortunately, your training prepared you for such a contingency, and hours before the event was due to start, you overcame the guards to raid the secret storehouse of the Quebecois Iconoclast Society. Unfortunately, they've been at the head-stealing game longer than you've been at the head-rescuing game, and they've built up quite a collection.";
  change the description of the player to "You have no name. You need no description. You blend in with a crowd and strike without mercy. That's your job, and you're good at it. It suffices to say, however, that even after an adventure such as this, you're as good-looking as ever.";
  change the correct head to a random head.

Chapter 1 - The Twelve Heads

Eye-type is a kind of value. The eye-types are red-eyed, green-eyed, and eyeless.

A head is a kind of thing. A head can be mummified or skeletal. A head can be gilt or plain.A head has an eye-type.

Before listing contents: group heads together as "heads of John the Baptist".

The Chamber of the Heads is a room. "This treasure house has been thoroughly sacked -- by you, of course. Locked chests have been reduced to kindling, reliquaries to so much broken glass and leading. You are certain that you have found all that this secret trove has to offer. It's probably best not to hang around. The guards are sure to wake up eventually. The only egress is out to the west." The player is in the Chamber of the Heads. West of the Chamber of Heads is Outside-Cave. Outside of the Chamber of Heads is Outside-Cave. Up from the Chamber of Heads is Outside-Cave.

the head from France is a head carried by the player. The description of the head from France is "Polished carbuncles have been firmly fixed into the eye-sockets of this seemingly ordinary skull. The words 'Saint Jean le Baptiste' have been roughly carved into the jaw.". The head from France is skeletal, plain, and red-eyed.

the head from Turkey is a head carried by the player. The description of the head from Turkey is "Flowing Arabic letters in gold leaf adorn the cheekbones of this bleached skull, which stares at you with unnerving ruby eyes.". The head from Turkey is skeletal, gilt, and red-eyed.

the head from Italy is a head carried by the player. The description of the head from Italy is "Dazzling gems and a crown of gold have been inlaid into the sunken flesh of this preserved head. A macabre chain of rubies is embedded into the severed base of the neck, and garnets serve as eyes. Carved letters on the facets of the rubies read 'Sanctus Ioannes Baptista'.". The head from Italy is mummified, gilt, and red-eyed.

the head from Israel is a head carried by the player. The description of the head from Israel is "This battered head has seen better days. The mummified flesh shows rough abrasions, and it is free of adornments, lacking even glass eyes. Someone has scrawled a Hebrew word in pencil across the forehead.". The head from Israel is mummified, plain, and eyeless.

the head from England is a head carried by the player. The description of the head from England is "This skull is bleached to a pure white. It is unadorned but for a band of silver about the head, with 'Saint John the Baptist' inlaid in gold.". The head from England is skeletal, gilt, and eyeless. 

the head from Hungary is a head carried by the player. The description of the head from Hungary is "A plain mummified head, with a golden skullcap but no other adornments. Etched onto the golden pate is a curicued desgn and the words 'Keresztelö Szent János'.". The head from Hungary is mummified, gilt, and eyeless.

the head from Russia is a head carried by the player. The description of the head from Russia is "This preserved head is gaudily painted and overlaid with gold leaf, with haloes around the emerald eyes inscribed with Cyrillic writing.". The head from Russia is mummified, gilt, and green-eyed.

the head from China is a head carried by the player. The description of the head from China is "A plain skull, unmarked but for some very small Chinese characters inked on the inside. Disturbingly, it is full of cigarette butts and ash. Spherical jades set in the eye-sockets make this grisly artifact slightly less unnerving.". The head from China is skeletal, plain, and green-eyed.

the head from Greece is a head carried by the player. The description of the head from Greece is "Delicate gold tracery is inlaid on this skull, otherwise unadorned but for the small malachite orbs resting in the eye-sockets. At the back of the skull, the tiny streams of gold collect intopools of gold leaf, spelling out the name of St. John in Greek.". The head from Greece is skeletal, gilt, and green-eyed.

the head from Zimbabwe is a head carried by the player. The description of the head from Zimbabwe is "It's just an ordinary old skull. You have no particular reason to think it's from Zimbabwe, but you've got to call it something. You wouldn't even suspect it of being the head of St. John the Baptist, except for where you found it.". The head from Zimbabwe is skeletal, plain, and eyeless.

the head from Germany is a head carried by the player. The description of the head from Germany is "Dried skin is stretched tightly over the skull, and two plain-cut green gemstones, possibly agate, fill the eye-sockets. A brass plaque riveted to the forehead reads 'Sankt Johannes der Täufer'.". The head from Germany is mummified, plain, and green-eyed. 

the head from Spain is a head carried by the player. The description of the head from Spain is "This preserved head has a lifelike grimace made more unnerving by the blood-red garnets serving as eyes. Across the back of the head, in red ink, are written the words 'San Juan el Bautista'.". The head from Spain is mummified, plain, and red-eyed.

The correct head is a head that varies.

A hint is a kind of value. The hints are known and unknown.

Skeletonicity, gold, and eye are hints that vary. Skeletonicity is unknown. Gold is unknown. Eye is unknown.

Chapter 2 - Overland

Outside-Cave is a room. The printed name is "Outside of the Cave". "You are deep in a trackless desert, hidden within a dimensional fold in Quebec. A rip in space-time is off to what you arbitrarily describe as north in this compassless space, and off to the east the earth descends into a cave.". North of Outside-Cave is the Twelfth Dimension.

the guards are in Outside-Cave. "The well-armed and muscular guardians of the treasures stored here lie about unconscious. For shame, sleeping on the job!". The guards are a person. The description of the guards is "They look so innocent and nonthreatening when they're all conked out like that.".

Instead of waking the guards, say "Bad idea. They would not be at all happy to see you.".

Instead of attacking the guards, say "Leave them be. They're harmless now.".

Instead of going nowhere from Outside-Cave, say "There is nowhere to go in this plane of existence, except for the cave."


The Twelfth Dimension is a room. "In between reality and a pocket dimension, you can barely process the sensory input you receive. Openings to the xyzzy and to the widdershins touch on more tangible realities.".Nowhere is south of the Twelfth Dimension. Nowhere is east of the Twelfth Dimension.

Instead of going nowhere from the Twelfth Dimension, say "You thought that was a direction, but you can't seem to find it.".

Understand "xyzzy" as xyzzying. Xyzzying is an action applying to nothing.

Understand "widdershins" as wandering widdershins. Wandering widdershins is an action applying to nothing.

Carry out xyzzying:
  say "Yeah, that doesn't work here.".

Carry out wandering widdershins:
  say "You walk in a circle. Isn't that fun?".

Instead of xyzzying in the Twelfth Dimension, move the player to Outside-Cave.
Instead of wandering widdershins in the Twelfth Dimension, move the player to the Library.

A creme brulee is in the Twelfth Dimension. "An unfathomable custard floats within your sensation." The printed name of creme brulee is "nine-dimensional crème brûlée". Understand "dessert" or "custard" as the creme brulee. The description of the creme brulee is "It assails your senses. It looks like shrieking, tastes like defeat, and sounds like purple.".

Library is a room. "The Quebecois would, in their infuriatingly un-American way, refer to this particular institution as the 'Bibliothèque et Archives nationales du Québec'. It's after hours: the stacks are dark, and what illumination there is comes from the windows and from the disturbing gash in reality to the west. The main doors are locked, so you'll have to leave through the basement.". West of the Library is the Twelfth Dimension.

An early Church manuscript is in the Library. "An ancient bound volume sits on a table, barely visible in the low light.". The description of the manuscript is "The old, worn pages document the doings of the early Catholic Church.". Understand "book" or "old" or "ancient" or "volume" as the manuscript.

After consulting the manuscript about:
  if the topic understood includes "john"
  begin;
    say "A careful search turns up an enigmatic reference by an early Church father to John's fate after death: 'for as he eschewed earthly splendour in life, so is it fitting that after death his holy remnants [if the correct head is gilt]be clothed in the gold he denied himself in life[otherwise]not be sullied with base gold[end if].'";
    change gold to known;
    rule succeeds;
  end if;

Report consulting the manuscript about: say "You don't find anything, but your Latin's rusty and the pages are faded." instead.

Down from the Library is Quebec Shuttle Station. Quebec Shuttle Station is a room. "This room houses the express interlibrary tube-line. Since it's so late, it's lit only by harsh emergency fluorescent tubes, but even at this hour, there's one of the sleek modern subterranian trains waiting off to the south."

A destination is a kind of value. The destinations are QSS and Archivebound.

After going south from Quebec Shuttle Station:
  change the destination of the interlibrary shuttle to Archivebound;
  continue the action.

South of the Quebec Shuttle Station is the Interlibrary Shuttle. The description of the Interlibrary Shuttle is "Tidy, clean, and sparsely decorated, this shuttle has but one purpose: to take people from one library to another.". The Interlibrary Shuttle has a destination. North of the Interlibrary Shuttle is the Quebec Shuttle Station.

Every turn while the player is in the Interlibrary Shuttle:
  if the destination of the interlibrary shuttle is Archivebound
  begin;
    if the player has been in the interlibrary shuttle for exactly 1 turn then say "A toneless female voice says, 'Please stay clear of the doors; the shuttle is departing.'";
    if the player has been in the interlibrary shuttle for exactly 2 turns
    begin;
      say "The doors slide shut and the train starts moving.";
      change the north exit of the Interlibrary Shuttle to nothing;
    end if;
    if the player has been in the interlibrary shuttle for exactly 3 turns then say "A series of discordant chimes sounds and a voice recites, 'Next stop: The Interactive Fiction Archive.'";
    if the player has been in the interlibrary shuttle for exactly 4 turns then say "The train begins to slow down as it approaches the station.";
    if the player has been in the interlibrary shuttle for exactly 5 turns
    begin;
      say "The train jerks to a halt and the doors hiss open.";
      change the north exit of the Interlibrary Shuttle to Archive Shuttle Station;
    end if;
  end if;
  if the destination of the interlibrary shuttle is QSS
  begin;
    if the player has been in the interlibrary shuttle for exactly 1 turn then say "A toneless female voice says, 'Please stay clear of the doors; the shuttle is departing.'";
    if the player has been in the interlibrary shuttle for exactly 2 turns
    begin;
      say "The doors slide shut and the train starts moving.";
      change the north exit of the Interlibrary Shuttle to nothing;
    end if;
    if the player has been in the interlibrary shuttle for exactly 3 turns then say "A series of discordant chimes sounds and a voice recites, 'Next stop: Quebec Library and National Archives.'";
    if the player has been in the interlibrary shuttle for exactly 4 turns then say "The train begins to slow down as it approaches the station.";
    if the player has been in the interlibrary shuttle for exactly 5 turns
    begin;
      say "The train jerks to a halt and the doors hiss open.";
      change the north exit of the Interlibrary Shuttle to Quebec Shuttle Station;
    end if;
  end if;

A tired pastry chef is in the Interlibrary Shuttle. The chef is a man. "An exhausted chef is hunched over in one of the seats." The description of the chef is "You can tell he's a chef because he has a poofy hat. You can tell he's exhausted by his drooping eyelids and walking-dead expression.".

Instead of telling the chef about something, try asking the chef about it.

Instead of asking the chef about something, say "He mumbles sulkily in French. Clearly he regards your chatter as an intrusion.".

Instead of showing something to the chef, try giving the noun to the chef.

Instead of giving the brulee to the chef:
  remove the brulee from play;
  say "His eyes light up as he regards the pan-dimensional caramel. 'Zut alors! Mon dieu! A custard out of time! By the [if the correct head is eyeless]empty[end if][if the correct head is green-eyed]verdant[end if][if the correct head is red-eyed]crimson[end if] eyes of le Baptiste! This transcends all culinary art!'";
  change the eye to known.

Instead of attacking the chef, say "Why? Life's already beat him up enough."

Archive Shuttle Station is a room. South of the Archive Shuttle Station is the Interlibrary Shuttle. "The Archive's shuttle stop is well-lit and cheery. A mosaic of a brass lantern adorns the northern wall, and the train waits to the south. A flight of stairs descends into the very nerve center of Interactive Fiction". Down from the Archive Shuttle Station is The Source.

The Source is a room. "This chamber deep in the earth houses the IF Archive's prime secret: the Source. From here it looks almost like an old-fashioned train engine room, except that the boiler, instead of being red-hot, sucks all the energy out of the room. It's hungry, and it wants to be fed.".

The boiler is a container in the Source. The boiler is scenery. Understand "source/firebox/furnace" as the boiler. The description of the boiler is "The firebox is open, and the inside is murky and dark.".

Your commission is in the Source. "A sheet of official Archive letterhead lies on the ground." Understand "sheet/letterhead" as the commission. The description of your commission is "This is the original document you were sent when the head was stolen. In brief, it mentions that the [if the correct head is skeletal]skull[otherwise]mummified head[end if] of St. John the Baptist has been stolen, and that it is your mission to recover it."

After examining your commission:
  now the skeletonicity is known;
  continue the action.

After inserting something (called the target) into the boiler:
  say "[The target] vanishes into the blackness. ".
  if the target is a head
  begin;
    if gold is known and eye is known and skeletonicity is known and target is correct head
    begin;
      say "Suddenly, the boiler bursts forth with light and heat, and a familiar sense of inspiration. Looks like the SpeedIF can get back on track!";
      end the game saying "[italic type]You are a Chef 2[roman type][bold type] can be written";
    otherwise;
    say "Fire, light, heat, all those good thangs that are supposed to happen when you fuel the boiler come to pass, but the SpeedIF itself kinda sucks.";
    end the game saying "You have chosen... poorly";
    end if;
  end if;
  if the target is creme brulee
  begin;
    say "An interesting approach, using the reality-distorting custard in place of the holy artifacts. You never quite understood how the Source works, but you always assumed bending the laws of physics inside of it wasn't a good idea, that it would cause pure chaos to bleed into the games. Seems you were right.";
    end the game saying "Human flesh bag! My blood pumper is wronged! Your fault, this is!";
  end if;
  remove target from play.

After going south from the Archive Shuttle Station:
  change the destination of the interlibrary shuttle to QSS;
  continue the action.


Chapter 4 - Etc

Understand "about" as asking about the game. Asking about the game is an action applying to nothing.

Carry out asking about the game:
  say "The dastardly Francophones have stolen the Spirit of Speed-IF; now, our hero 
must journey to a francophone land in order to retrieve it. Bonus points for 
including a T'ang dynasty ashtray, a preserved homunculus, phlogiston, an 
especially fearsome goat, the taste of defeat, and/or 9-dimensional creme 
brulee. Entries due in by Sunday night (Aug 26 2007). Sign below with download 
info when done.";