"Captain Cumshot's Second Adventure: The Rim Job" by "D. Jacob Wildstrom"

The story headline is "Another damn SpeedIF".

The story genre is "SpeedIF".

The story description is "Major John Kimchat of the Space Service is back for another exciting adventure in space: this time, dealing with failures in the rare-metal harvesters on the outer edge of the galaxy."

When play begins, say "Last time on [italic type]The Hentai Adventures of Captain Cumshot[roman type]: you valorously saved Skybase Gamma from murderous robots. General Kodai herself cited your meritorious service with a promotion and the vow that 'Earth, and the Space Service, would forever remember and honor your extraordinary bravery.'

Apparently, to the Space Service, 'forever' means 'for about four months', because, less than a year later, you're being bundled into an ultralight craft to perform some mind-bogglingly dull maintanance on an unmanned station at the outer edge of the galaxy. At last, you're finally reaching the end of your long journey...".

Chapter 1 - Aboard the SS GBGV

The Sleeping Berth is a room. "Your sleeping cabin is a small chamber, so as to preserve power during your rest periods. A sleepnet in the corner serves to keep you immobile and comfortable while sleeping. Sliding doors open to the north and east."

The sleepnet is an enterable container in the Sleeping Berth. The sleepnet is scenery. Understand "net/sleep/bed" as the sleepnet. The player is in the sleepnet. The description of the sleepnet is "Soft and slightly sticky netting clings lightly and comfortably to your body, to keep you from floating around the room should you move in your sleep.".

The entertainment module is a device in the sleepnet. "An entertainment module is looped through the sleepnet's weave." The entertainment module is switched off. The description of the entertainment module is "It's loaded up with a wide variety of games, films, music, and books."

Instead of switching on the entertainment module, say "You've already played every game on it, read every book, and watched every film on the long flight out. Besides. you've got work to do.".

North of the Sleeping Berth is the Sanitary Facilities. East of the Sleeping Berth is the Activity Center.

A person can be clean or dirty. The player is dirty. The player is wearing a chronometer.

The Sanitary Facilities is a room. "A mirror, a vacuum shower, a closet, and a waste-management unit, all trimmed in an ugly institutional white, serve to meet your basic sanitary needs. Plain unmarked doors lead to the south and southeast.". The mirror is scenery in the Sanitary Facilities. The description of the mirror is "[if player is dirty]You're looking a bit rough, but a quick shower will put that right.[otherwise]Looking good, Major.[end if]". The shower is enterable scenery in the Sanitary Facilities. The description of the shower is "A mist-producing hose in one corner of the unit, a light suction tube in the other corner, and far too many vacuum seals. It's not as satisfactory as an Earth shower, but it'll get you clean without drowning you.". Understand "bath" as the shower.

Understand "shower" as showering. Understand "take shower" as showering.

Showering is an action applying to nothing.

Check showering:
  if the player is not in the Sanitary Facilities then say "There's no shower here." instead.

Check showering:
  if the uniform is worn by the player, say "Civilized folk undress before showering." instead.

Check showering:
  if the player is carrying anything, say
"You should drop [the list of things carried by the player] first." instead.

Check showering:
  if the player is clean, say "You're plenty clean already." instead.

Carry out showering:
  now the player is clean.

Report showering:
  say "You step into the shower and let slow-moving beads of water ooze onto and off your skin. A few minutes later you feel like a new man, or at least a refurbished one.".

Instead of entering the shower, try showering.

The waste-management unit is scenery in the Sanitary Facilities. The waste-management unit is an open container. "A vacuum tube of various context-dependent power runs to a velcro-laden system somewhat resembling a diaper. It's appropriate for the disposition both of human waste and trash.". Understand "WMU" as the waste-management unit.

Instead of doing anything except examining the waste-management unit, say "You thankfully have no need at present to fiddle with the WMU.".

Instead of inserting something into the waste-management unit:
  say "[The noun] is promptly sucked away, not to be seen again.";
  remove the noun from play.

The closet is a closed openable container in the  Sanitary Facilities. The closet is scenery. The uniform is in the closet. The uniform is wearable. The description of the uniform is "Form-fitting, unmarked, and far more useful that decorative, as befits a mission light-years away from the nearest human settlement.".

The Activity Center is southeast of the Sanitary Facilities. "The Activity Center is the heart of the living quarters in the S.S. GBGV. [if entertainment module is in bracket]An entertainment module is mounted in a wall bracket[otherwise]An empty wall-mount awaits the return of the entertainment unit it ordinarily houses[end if] and an exercise machine is bolted to the ceiling. The personal area continues to the west and northwest, and the bridge is through a door to the north.".

The entertainment module bracket is scenery in the Activity Center. The entertainment module bracket is an open container in the Activity Center. The description of the bracket is "A docking station designed not only to recharge theentertainment module, but also to keep it from floating about.". Understand "dock" as the bracket. Understand "docking station" as the bracket.

Instead of dropping the entertainment module when in the Activity Center, try inserting the entertainment module into the bracket.

After inserting the entertainment module into the bracket: say "You gently click the entertainment module back into its proper place.".

The exercise machine is scenery in the Activity Center. The exercise machine is a device. The description of the exercise machine is "Calisthenics and aerobics twice a week are vital to the maintanance of a healthy body in a zero-G environment. This machine puts you through both, as well as a regimen of other low-impact cardiovascular exercises." Understand "gym" as the exercise machine.

Instead of switching on the exercise machine, say "You've done your exercises yesterday, and today you're supposed to be focused on the task at hand.".

Your nockle is in the Activity Center. "Your nockle, somewhat tarnished from disuse, appears to have become entangled on a zomg of the exercise machine." The description of your nockle is "MicroTech industries designed a number of miniaturized musical instruments: because storage space is frequently at a premium on shipboard, gifted musicians in the Space Service frequently elect to use MicroTech instruments. Your own preferreddevice, the nockle, loosely based on the French Horn, was not one of MT's more popular designs, and was in fact discontinued several years ago.". Understand "French horn" as your nockle. Understand "musical instrument" as your nockle.

Understand "play [something held]" as playing. Understand "practice [something held]" as playing.

Playing is an action applying to one thing.

Carry out playing: say "That's not a musical instrument."

Instead of playing the nockle: say "You produce a few respectable honks, but your pitch is still a bit off."

North of the Activity Center is the Bridge.

The Bridge is a room. "Most of the controls in this room evade your understanding: you're a soldier, not a specialist, and the details of Light-Drive technology are hardly part of the general training you've received. Fortunately, the autopilot is set up to take you home as soon as you give the command. A communication station and sensor readout are, unlike the navigational controls, quite within your understanding. A plaque hangs over the door to the south leading back to the living area. Through a hatch above is the tiny bubble-car used for short-range travel."

The dedicatory plaque is scenery in the Bridge. The description of the dedicatory plaque is "A cute bas-relief of a droopy-eared dog is etched above the words:[line break]
'The S.S. Grand Basset Griffon Vendéen[line break]
Ultralight interstellar Transport

For the glory of Earth and the Space Service

With thirty waking moments to her name,[line break]
To serve and further spread earth's fame;[line break]
Only in the spring does love turn to dust --[line break]
In the twilight of no seasons have we earned Earth's trust;[line break]
Bringing the galaxy to our dear home,[line break]
One thing remains, that no more monkeys roam.'

What a peculiar poem."

The autopilot is a device in the Bridge. The autopilot is scenery. The description of the autopilot is "A heavy switch, marked with fluorescent orange paint. It's the only control on the navigational panel you actually understand.".

Instead of switching on the autopilot:
  if the manual is stuck begin;
    say "You flip the control to begin the long voyage back home. On your return, you're somewhat at a loss to explain exactly why you didn't carry out your mission.";
    end the game saying "You have wasted billions of taxpayer dollars";
  otherwise;
     say "It's a long way home, but you can rest assured that you've done the job you were sent to do. Time for another few months of tedium.";
     end the game saying "You have done your job";
  end if;

The navigational controls are scenery in the Bridge.

Instead of doing anything to the navigational controls, say "You lack the know-how to adjust these controls. If you tried, you'd surely regret it. Everything's set up so that you can simply engage the autopilot when necessary."

The communication station is scenery in the bridge. The description of the communication station is "It's a standard communications terminal, allowing voice, video, or data linkage via the Galactic Repeater Network, which hasn't stretched out quite this far yet." Understand "terminal" as the communication station.

Instead of doing anything except examining the communication station, say "You're out of contact range, and besides, any message you sent from here would take years to get home."

The sensor readout is scenery in the bridge. The description of the sensor readout is "The screen says exactly what it should: you're 500 yards from Outer Rim mining station A429 in a locked orbit. Several asteroids are in the general area, but they don't seem to pose any immediate threat." Understand "display" or "terminal" or "screen" as the sensor readout.

Above the Bridge is the Docking Bay.

Instead of going up from the Bridge, move the player to the bubble-car.

The ship is a region. The Bridge, Activity Center, Sanitary Facilities, and Sleeping Berth are in the ship.

After going from the ship to the ship: say "The door whisks open and closes behind you after you pass through."; continue the action.

The automated doors are a backdrop. The automated doors are in the ship. "Inside of the ship, automated doors seperate the differently-purposed areas from each other, allowing each to run on independent life-support and climate control.". Understand "door" as the automated doors.

Instead of opening or closing the automated doors, say "The doors open and close automatically as necessary."

Chapter 2 - The bubble-car

Free Space is a region. Near Your Ship and Near Mining Station A429 are in Free Space.

Docking Areas is a region. Docking Bay and Mining Dock are in Docking Areas.

The Docking Bay is a room. "The bubble-car is nestled in the docking bay: side views are occluded by parts of the ship's external structure. Above is only the inky blackness of space."

The bubble-car is a vehicle in the Docking Bay. The description of the bubble-car is "A small, cramped vehicle, the bubble-car really only has the power for short jaunts. Prominent on the control panel is a gauge for reading battery life, and below the controls there's a maintenance panel.". Understand "car" and "bubble car" as the bubble-car.

A level is a kind of value. The levels are full, mostly full, half full, partially full, nearly empty, and empty. 

A control panel is part of the bubble-car. The description of the control panel is "You're quite familiar with these controls: the bubble-car conforms to standard spacefaring vehicle design.".

A maintenance panel is part of the bubble-car. The description of the maintenance panel is "Several familiar and unusual connectors protrude from the maintenance panel. There's a socket for a datachip, a nozzle for fuel, a recess for a battery, and a lever which you recognize as an emergency manual hatch release."

A socket is part of the maintenance panel. A socket is a container. The description is "Onboard software upgrades can be provided by putting a datachip in this slot, which is currently empty."

Instead of inserting anything into the socket, say "That doesn't seem to fit."

Instead of tying anything to the socket, say "That doesn't seem to fit."

A nozzle is part of the maintenance panel. The description is "Your onboard fuel is quite adequate for short jaunts, but this ship can be upconverted for faster movement and higher maneuverability with a pressurized maneuvering-jet tank hooked up to this (currently loose) nozzle.". Understand "fuel" as the nozzle.

Instead of tying anything to the nozzle, say "That doesn't seem to fit."

A battery is a kind of thing. A battery can be live or dead. A battery is usually live.

A recess is part of the maintenance panel. The recess is a container. The description is "The battery compartment is simply a recess with a set of two prongs into which any standard battery will fit. It's designed for emergency supplement and currently [if the recess contains a battery]contains a battery[otherwise]is empty[end if]." Understand "compartment" and "battery compartment" as recess.

Instead of inserting anything which is not a battery into the recess, say "That doesn't seem to fit."

Instead of tying a thing to the recess, try inserting the noun into the recess.

After inserting a live battery into the recess:
  now the noun is dead;
  change the fuel level of the fuel indicator to full;
  say "As you insert [the noun] into the battery compartment, the needle on the battery gauge jerks suddenly upwards.".

Understand "plug [something held] into [something]" as tying it to.

The hatch is scenery in the bubble-car. The hatch can be open or closed. The hatch is open.

The emergency manual hatch release is part of the maintenance panel. The description is "The main hatch is under automated control, but if the automatic controls fail, this lever will suffice to manually open the hatch.". Understand "lever" as the emergency manual hatch release.

Instead of pulling the emergency manual hatch release when the hatch is closed: say "You pull with all your might, and the lever drops with a clunk, releasing the bolts on the hatch. There's a loud pop as the craft decompresses, and as all the air is sucked out of the vehicle it occurs to you that opening a door onto vacuum may not have been the wisest idea."; end the game in death.

Instead of pulling the emergency manual hatch release when the hatch is open, say "You pull with all your might, and the lever drops with a clunk, releasing the bolts on the hatch. Of course, the hatch was already open, so nothing interesting occurs, and the lever swings back upright."

After looking when the player is in the bubble-car: say "The exit hatch is [if the hatch is open]open[otherwise]closed[end if]. The bubble-car's battery is [fuel level of the fuel indicator]."; continue the action.

The fuel indicator is part of the control panel. The fuel indicator has a level called fuel level. The fuel level of the fuel indicator is full. "A gauge on the control panel indicates that the bubble-car's battery is [the fuel level].". The description of the fuel indicator is "The bubble-car's battery is currently [the fuel level of the fuel indicator][if the fuel level of the fuel indicator is not full]. It'll recharge when the car's docked[end if][if the fuel level of the fuel indicator is not full and the bubble-car is in the Mining Dock] -- or at least it's supposed to[end if].". Understand "battery" or "gauge" as the fuel indicator.

Instead of going nowhere by the bubble-car when the bubble-car is in the Docking Bay, say "The bubble-car is firmly docked. The only way to move is upwards, away from the dock."

Instead of going down by the bubble-car when the bubble-car is in the Docking Bay, try exiting.

Instead of exiting when the player is in the bubble-car and the bubble-car is in the Docking Bay, move the player to the Bridge.

Instead of exiting when the player is in the bubble-car and the hatch is closed, say "The hatch is closed."

Instead of opening or closing the hatch, say "The hatch is automatically controlled."

Check going by bubble-car:
  if the fuel level of the fuel indicator is empty, say "The bubble-car's maneuvering jets hum ineffectually." instead.

After going by the bubble-car: change the fuel level of the fuel indicator to the level after the fuel level of the fuel indicator; continue the action.

Every turn when the bubble-car is in the Docking Bay: if the fuel level of the fuel indicator is not full then change the fuel level of the fuel indicator to the level before the fuel level of the fuel indicator.

Every turn when in Free Space:
  if the fuel level of the fuel indicator is empty begin;
    say "Unfortunately, your car has run out of battery power out of dock. With onboard air recyclers failing, an unpleasant death awaits you.";
    end the game saying "You have been stranded";
  end if.

After going from Docking Areas to Free Space by the bubble-car: say "The hatch slides closed and bolts before leaving the dock."; now the hatch is closed; continue the action.

After going from Free Space to Docking Areas by the bubble-car: say "The hatch unbolts and slides open as your vehicle docks."; now the hatch is open; continue the action.

Instead of going nowhere when in Free Space, say "It's best to conserve battery life and only go to your goal. There's nothing here but your ship and the mining station."

Above the Docking Bay is Near Your Ship. The description of Near Your Ship is "The car is floating in space above your ship. Off to the east is mining station A429, latched onto a large asteroid. Little else is visible but for stars: you're supposed to be in the middle of an asteroid field, but they're far enough off that you can't see them.".

East of Near Your Ship is Near Mining Station A429. The description of Near Mining Station A429 is "Here out on the Rim, mining stations run autonomously, extracting ore from asteroids, packaging it, and giving it ahealthy shove back towards the inner planets. A429 is a tiny growth on an asteroid many times its size, but already you can see the furrows and craters worn by its claws. The station's spartan docking bay is to the east."

East of Near Mining Station A429 is Mining Dock.
The description of Mining Dock is "Your car is parked in the dock of Mining Station A429, which is to the east. The openness of space is to the west."

Instead of going nowhere by the bubble-car when the bubble-car is in the Mining Dock, say "The bubble-car is firmly docked. The only way to move is westwards, away from the dock."

Instead of going east by the bubble-car when the bubble-car is in the Mining Dock, try exiting.

Instead of exiting when the player is in the bubble-car and the bubble-car is in the Mining Dock, move the player to the Cramped Entryway.

Chapter 3 - Mining Station

[Mining Station Interior is a region. ]

Mine Big Rooms is a region. Storage Chamber, Ore Processing Unit, Big Drill, Fusion Reactor, and Systems Center are in Mine Big Rooms.

[Cramped Entryway, Storage Chamber, Ore Processing Unit, Drilling Area, Fusion Reactor, and Systems Center are in Mining Station Interior.]

East of Mining Dock is Cramped Entryway. The description of Cramped Entryway is "This east-west passage is not meant to be traversed often, and is, as a result, not terribly comfortable. Odd zomgs of machinery jut out into the corridor, making the traversal quite difficult[if location is unvisited]. The air is stale and has perhaps a slightly incorrect balance of gasses, but seems to be breathable if mildly unpleasant[end if].".

Instead of going west from the Cramped Entryway, move the player to the bubble-car.

The Storage Chamber is a room. "This huge chamber is full of refined rare metals in various levels of packaging. Metal fragments and bars float haphazardly about awaiting sorting, packaging, and shipping. The chamber widens in a semicircle to the east, and consoles line the perimeter of the room.". The Storage Chamber is east of Cramped Entryway.

The metals are scenery in the Storage Chamber. The description of the metals is "They're all jumbled up, mostly trace metals useful for electronics.". Instead of doing anything except examining the metals, say "They're not labelled, and not in any form you can make use of.". Understand "metal/fragments/bars" as the metals.

East of the Storage Chamber is the Big Drill. North of the Storage Chamber is the Fusion Reactor. South of the Storage Chamber is the Systems Center. Northeast of the Storage Chamber is the Ore Processing Unit.

The Big Drill is a room. "This end of the chamber is dominated by a giant laser drill. This wall of the chamber is not the smooth walls of a Space Service station, but the jagged surface of the asteroid. The station's own walls sweep off to the north and south, and the central chamber is back to the west."

North of the Big Drill is southeast of the Ore Processing Unit. South of the Big Drill is east of the Systems Center.

The laser is scenery in the Big Drill. "The giant drilling laser currently sits inert. If it were operating, it would actually be far too bright to look at directly.". Understand "drill" as the laser.

The Ore Processing Unit is a room. "Here ore is crushed and smelted into pure metals and ejected in pure form. The slag is carried around in tubes from the drilling station to the southeast and to the fusion reactor to the northwest, pausing only briefly in the furnace along this wall."

The smelter is fixed in place in the Ore Processing Unit."Waves of heat pour from the smelter[if instruction manual is stuck], but you can see it's not working right, because it should be a lot noisier[otherwise] and the din of the ore-crushing rollers makes it difficult even to think[end if].". Understand "crusher/rollers/furnace/OPU" as the smelter. Understand "Ore Processing Unit" as the smelter.

The instruction manual is a thing in the Ore Processing Unit. The instruction manual can be stuck, free, or caught. The instruction manual is stuck. "You see the problem -- there's a sheaf of paper caught up in one of the external gears.". The description of the manual is "A sheaf of papers with diagrams written on them -- you'd need to look closer to read them.". Understand "sheaf/papers/paper", "sheaf of paper", and "sheaf of papers" as the instruction manual.

Instead of pulling the manual, try taking the manual.

Instead of taking the manual when the manual is stuck:
  say "You tug hard, and the papers fly free! Mercifully, they're loosely stapled together, so they don't fly apart, but they evade your grasp and float off to the southwest. Looks like you're going to have to flugulate after them.";
  move manual to Storage Chamber;
  now the manual is free.

Every turn when the manual is free:
  if the manual is in a room (called the current space) begin;
    if the current space is in Mine Big Rooms begin;
      let next space be a random room which is adjacent to the current space;
      if the manual is visible, say "The sheaf of papers floats off to [the next space].";
      change the initial appearance of the manual to "A sheaf of papers floats freely here.";
      move manual to next space;
      if the manual is visible, say "The sheaf of papers floats into the area.";
  end if;
end if.

Instead of examining the manual when the manual is held:
  say "It's a technical specification for the mining station's fusion reactor. Among other details, you observe an auxiliary battery which is not actually necessary for the functioning of the reactor.";
  if the spare battery is not handled, move the spare battery to the Fusion Reactor.

The Storage Chamber is southwest of the Ore Processing Unit. East of the Fusion Reactor is northwest of the Ore Processing Unit.

The Fusion Reactor is a room. "A spherical shell bulges on the north wall of this room, housing the reactor which powers this station, extracting energy from the rubble and slag of the smelter to the east. Below the sphere is a bewildering array of power-management circuitry.".

The spare battery is a live battery. "You see, among the circuitry, the battery you read about earlier."

The Systems Center is a room. "The southern wall of the station contains the processing computers which make this station run. The actual systems are concealed, but a status screen is visible on this wall."

The status screen is scenery in the Systems Center. The description of the status screen is "All of the systems seem to be functioning properly[if manual is stuck] except the ore processing unit, which is suffering some sort of mechanical failure[end if].". Understand "display/terminal" as the status screen.

Chapter 4 - Etc.

Understand "about" as asking about the game. Asking about the game is an action applying to nothing.

Carry out asking about the game:
  say "This event was inspired by the beta release of Inform 7, but you may use any programming language you like. Here are the parameters (submitted, Mad Libs-style, by the denizens of ifMUD). Write a game that includes all of the following elements:

    * The following new words:

          o nockle, noun: The phenominally unsuccessful miniaturized French Horn, now almost forgotten.

          o flugulate (floo-gyu-layt), v.i.: To run about wildly in an attempt to catch a piece of paper that has been caught up in a breeze.

          o zomg, noun: Sharp corners, esp. of household furniture.

    * A poem of no more than six lines. The poem must contain each of the following three lines (these lines can appear anywhere in the poem, in any order):

          o Only in the spring does love turn to dust.

          o One thing remains, that no more monkeys roam

          o With thirty waking moments to her name

    * Either the Irish setter or the Grand Basset Griffon Vendeen.

Deadline is Monday night, May 15. Try to spend no more than two hours coding. Post a link to your results in a comment to this post or on ifMUD when finished. Go!";

The description of the player is "Major John Kimchat, of the Space Service. All the promotions in the world, alas, won't make your associates pronounce your name correctly.".